The Farewell

With her bags packed, she sat quietly in the corner waiting for the cab. There was a thunderstorm, inside her heart. She looked up and saw her bed. Somewhere deep there was a hammer which was beating her intestines and a knife stabbing her stomach. Is this a dream she thought or what she was leaving behind was a radiant dream.


There were beautiful framed pictures hanging around the house. Of vibrant smiles and the memories which were so perfect that she almost had the urge to fall down on the ground and cry. She didn’t, she kept walking around the house, as if knowing the finality of the time, trying to memorize every corner which she loved and some long time back in a distant memory she did the whole house with him. Now all she could hear was a looming dangerous silence, it scared her, the darkness in her soul made her want to run away into one of those framed pictures where he was looking at her with the love that still gave her the tingles in her heart. She wanted to run away into that moment and hide in his chest knowing that he will hug him without asking a single question. She would want to tell him then that "lets stay here forever, coz the future is too scary for me" . Alas! she knew she cant. If only life was so easy and memories were just not memories but time machines to take us back to the days of glorious moments and smiling faces


She turned around and walked some more around the house. Her hands were shaking, she flinched her eyes, so tight as if desperately hoping that when she opens them things would be different.


Half of her belongings were already packed and sent across only the tit bits were left. So ironical. Are we ever able to pack all the tit bits in life? I don't think so. Some bits we always leave behind and the best part is we leave it knowingly. Because we want to remember and be remembered. Memories!!!! She perhaps was leaving the fondest bits of her life right here, in their door step of love. The same step where once they had their last fight. He standing their and she in the living room. What was the fight about, she tried hard to remember. Looked around in hope of a clue but there was not any.

And then she asked aloud the same question which she had been asking since the time he left but only inside her heart. Why, why did you walk out. Why did you leave me here with everything which will always remind me of us. But ofcource there were no answers and all she heard was herself. Come to think of it, do you and do I have this answer which we always ask ourselves when a chapter of our life is over, when a loved one leaves us with unanswered questions? I think the answer is always right infront of us and yet we try to never look at it.At times coz the answer is too scary and volatile and at times we want to live in the mirth of our own hopes.

Suddenly as if unable to stop her own force of emotions she sat down with a thud in her bed and the sobs came out. First they were silent and then loud and kept increasing, She lifted her hand in the air as if touching someone and with heavy tears in her eyes she smiled and said silently, all I wish is to spent five more minutes to touch that face of yours again. The hunger of being with him for some more time was perhaps cutting every part of her heart with a sharp saw. So desperate are our needs at times to be with that one person with whom we can never be. Why?

Her cell phone rang, her cab was there. She got up and this was the last goodbye of many other painful goodbyes she had bid in the past. Picked up her small yellow tote and the suitcase and very quietly she kept them near the door. Her heart was restless, and as the moment was nearing she almost felt like a teenager, as if saying goodbye to her lover. Only in reality she will never meet the love of her life again. Will never see him sleeping with those ridiculous pillow between his legs or maybe the early morning lazy kisses. God! ocean full of memories and she could forever keep recollecting each one of them with the same fond intensity. She walked towards the bedroom and as she was about to close the door, for one last time she looked on their "wall of fame" a funny secret name they had given to one of their bedroom walls. The walls were a softest of the soft yellow and they were adorned with the beautiful collage of the yester-years. And then her eyes fell on the most special one, closest to her heart and her favourite too. This was clicked in one of their last vacations. He loved travelling and clicking pictures. She saw the last framed picture ever that was hanging on that wall. His face gleaming with youth and smile and so many promises, she was not in the frame as she was the one who was clicking it. "I want to be forever clicked by you babe, let this be the ultimate pic of mine" he had said shouting from the yacht Ironical, coz this indeed went on to become the last time she never saw him smile. Her world collapsed into the deep slumbers of water and ice. The yacht was hit by a strong wave and he fell into the water and hit his head. The body was found after 2 days of massive search.

She kept looking at him and said ever so softly "Baby, I hope you will always know that how much I still love you. M not leaving you here, but just moving out so that I can smile again and live my life the way you always wanted me to this is my ultimate gift to you. In my heart you will always stay". With that she closed the door.

The cab outside was honking now. And she knew it’s her time to leave. As soon as she was inside, the car rolled away. She looked back to the picturesque house and saw the wind chime moving with the air almost as if he was standing there and bidding her their last farewell.